I happen to be a very strange human being. I like things that are out of the ordinary, maybe a bit unpolished and scattered with a hint of darkness. I grew up chasing perfection and the art of doing exactly as I was told. There could be no darkness in me, I hid away all my problems and issues. I was the perfect child but I was miserable. I was following all of God's rules but couldn't have been further from Him.
That's what happens when we chase perfection... a constant disconnect from the One who can heal our imperfections. We need a Savior. I mean, that's why He is called Savior, because we need saving! It is not until we become real with God can we understand that He longs to help up, heal us, and save us. Psalm 118:5 says, "In my anguish, I cried to the Lord and He answered by setting me free." God can set us free! Sometimes it takes us crying out to Him for us to see that He's been there the whole time. He's always there. We don't have to be perfect, He wants to be that for us. Our darkness doesn't scare God, He knows it is needed for us to truly understand why we need Him, the light.
One of my favorite quotes comes from an organization I highly value, To Write Love On Her Arms, and it states, "The world I believe in is one where embracing your light doesn't mean ignoring your dark." I highly value this organization because of how passionate they are about community. We are not meant to walk alone in all this crazy. We are a collection of brokenness put together again by an incredible, loving God. Despair comes from living day to day in utter silence, scared to talk about darkness. Talking about our issues does not mean we sit in them and accept them, but realize we don't have to anymore. Your darkness is not who you are but it is a story needed to be told to embrace the light that God has given you. Light cannot be seen without darkness first being present. Healing and restoration cannot happen without brokenness.
I would love to encourage you to get real with the challenges of your heart. Don't hide them, but present them to the Lord and ask for His light to flood the darkness in your life. Ask Him to help you work through them all!
To know Caitlyn is to love Caitlyn. She is truly one of those people that always makes your day brighter! She loves Jesus so much and lives to express His love through art. Among other things, she is a fantastic dancer, choreographer, and teacher. We are so grateful for Caitlyn and how she's shared part of her story with us!